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the beauty of evil

Feb. 28th, 2011

01:27 am - Cold Cave

Tell me when the world is ending
You won't be there still pretending
I was just someone you would love to love
But never love

I know people without substance
Will fill themselves with substances
But then, honey child
There was us
There still is

I will come running
Gunnin trough the years
Hunting heart
Crushing fear

I am still haunting
Down the roads
I know
Of the hell
That begs and burns below

Tell me how the stars exploded
Heaven caved in
Earth corroded
I was still breaking my body in when you first touched me
I know people will say
We've thrown our lives away
But is there a trail to salvation or salvation anyway

Their love laughs at locksmiths
We're smashing trough the windows of delicate dream homes
I feel so crowded alone
The empathy of breaking chains
The sympathy in crashing waves careful boy, caution girl
I do not think we were meant for this world

Forever haunted
By the roads I know
And if not above
I'll see you below.

Aug. 29th, 2010

04:25 am

I'm not thinking clearly when I post this. But after spending a night after work with my coworkers and going to Skeeters with them. We talked about future. Zach is making a risky change by going to Europe. Devin wanted to join him because he's not getting anywhere in community collge and that he just wants to get out. Is this just a really bad idea or would some call that brilliant? In some ways I think Devin and Zack are right on this approach. People stay in the same old rut that their used to living that way when they knwo they can do better. The way I live sometimes. But sometimes making changes can be uncomfortable and sometimes life changing. For good or bad. Its gotta suck when your not loved. Because if your not loved you don't have anything. Your parents love you. Like to think the friendships and love relationships I've had that some of them love me. Even the ones that didn't go so well. Or even the girls i overlooked or didn't know that they secretly had a huge ass crush on me. Even through the friendships I've had. one of those people at least had to love me. What if they don't? Our parents guide us with these drastic decisions too. The ones that should love us the most. Cause they've been where we were. At least I'd hope to think they did. Did they really go through what we did? Did they get these same emotions? Times have changed back then. I can't really talk to my parents in order to understand that. Or figuring out if a huge change is a correct choice for a person. How can blame someone who doesn't like where they are in life? Do i like where I'm at? I can't think of mucho else to go on. Just a few things crossing my mind.

Aug. 19th, 2010

02:41 pm

Been seeing a few movies lately. On friday after I was wondering why I was scheduled that day since I knew it wasn't going to be busy and we had 3 servers on. I go to talk to Tom at work and then he asked me if I wanted to go to the Bikini lunch. Yeahh. Went drinking with him Justin, John, and Matt. Then after a few beers and a couple shots went back to work. And then I was sent home for the night after like 2-3 hours of work and an hour of drinking? awesome. Then went to Jarrett's for some Guilty Gear with him and Adam and Tommy. Then to the burlington regal to see Scott Pilgrim v.s. the World with Jake Page, Kate Lewis, Perez, and Max. Oh Arthur was there too. The movie was enjoyable but not as amazing as their raving it. Though I must say I went to go out and fight some evil ex's now. Sunday me and Bryan saw Inception. It was a good movie. Reminds me of the Matrix.

Added another class onto my schedule. Only an online course. trying to get my gpa back up. Bryan said i cockblocked him? what? he cockblocked me before! craziness. Me and Bscott went to the bikini lunch a couple days ago. Talked to Danielle. played pool. was a good time. Was looking back at the yearbooks. Remembering some people. Oh how time goes by so quickly. Doesn't feel so far away. Between the old poker days with Ryan, Some people from high school, Joey Sawchuk, Sean Penwell, and some other people from college. I'd like to stay in contact with more people.

02:25 pm

Last tuesday I went to the AFI/Green Day concert with bscott and tim. It was kinda of our last thing together before tim goes off to college. We went to the mall and Dunleavy's also as a part of his kind of farewell speal. AFI was good. Didn't really go over the top which I kinda expected with them opening the show. They opened at 7 and it was still daylight. They were only on for about 45 mins. Wish it could have been longer. Afterwards Green Day came on and there were a bunch of pyrotechnics and such. Too bad they never finished half of their songs and they kept bringing up little kids to the stage. I was kinda pissed off after they started playing one of my favorite Green Day songs "Hitchin a Ride" when they had a kid up there the song before. The kid jumped into the crowd to crowd surf while they were playing the song and then the kid apparently fell and Green Day stopped the song immediately to see if he was ok. Not only that, but they didn't even finish the song. They started covering random songs and didn't finish and then would go into their own songs. We left a bit early and went to Marlton Tavern for some shots. Bscott and Tim being the passive guys they are didn't really do anything and I ordered myself a drink and then did the same and asked me why we didn't get shots. I paid for the beers which pissed me off. Then Tim paid for shots because I was done with putting money on the bar because bscott is a cheap bitch. Slept at Marc's for GenCon later that night.

we drove in Henry's car the night morning. It was me, Amart, Marc, Henry, and Meatball. Amart, Marc, and Henry split the 12 hour drive there. I was banned from driving. We fought over a game of monopoly because Meatball gave me all his properties so I can beat Henry cause Marc was helping him play and he was getting sooo lucky. We also played this pack game in this Yugioh DS game. We bought all the packs from a set in the game and dollar bet on which common would come up most. Fucking Twinkle Moss never came up! I owed Amart 2, Meatball 2, and Marc 1. We stopped at the Ramada to stay. Then we decided it was buttcheaps and stayed at the Marriot with Silverman and his crew. We also made a shit ton of jokes about the Budget Inn how people must pay to get raped there. It was so shitty looking. Marc cranked up the AC to as low as it can go. I froze. Meatball and Marc wouldn't leave me alone about paying what I owe.

Next day we headed to the Con and bought our badges. We were upset our free GenCon bags didn't come with dice at all. While we waited for the dealer room to open we went outside so Marc could have a smoke break. There was this girl outside from the Con smoking a cigarette. We told Henry we'd give him a dollar if he got her number. Henry eventually approached the girl and asked her for a cigarette. Keep in mind Henry doesn't smoke. He just blew and didn't inhale. He was making conversation with her and then Marc cock blocked him and asked her "what you think of my boy?". She left. It was so friggin funny. We then went to the TCG hall and dfrated magic. I drafted U/W and lost to Amart. We then went to the dealer room to sell as many cards as possible. We sold to mostly Strike Zone and Troll and Toad. No Juice Time(Game Time) this year. We ate at Fogo De Chow in the afternoon. We left a bit early because we were all exhausted. Marc put the AC as low as possible. i was reminded to pay what I owe. I froze from the cold.

I'm totally forgetting all the days some stuff happened. I sold more cards. We bet Henry in the food court to go up to this guy from the Con with a chicken hat and say "asshat" to him. Henry shook his hand told him he had a nice hat and then walked away and yelled out ASSHAT! We were going to bet him to drop a bunch of trash in front of a woman cleaning up around the food court. We went upstairs up the escalators to go to the movie theater and get tickets to see "The Other Guys" for the night. At the top Meatball bet Henry to scream "Your All Assholes" to everyone below. Meatball and Amart played in an EDH thing using my hanna deck(Amart) and Asuza(meatball). The way it worked was you got 3 packs for everyone you killed so they teamed up against the other 2 players in the pod. We saw "The Other Guys" as Marc went to go steal a bag. It was an ok movie. Nothing great. The next day. Saturday. Was the jump. I opted not to play since I haven't played in so long. Instead I went to go get my mat done up by a bunch of the artists. I got sketches from Dan Scott, Steve prescott, Chris Rahn, and others. Costed a bit but now I got a pimped out mat. Meatball and marc went 0-1 drop. Alex and Silverman went 3-2 drop. I played in a draft and pulled my first titan(grave titan) and then Inferno Titan. Later on at the hotel. They had this bbq pit and fire. Just a bunch of people hanging out there. We bet Henry to take the ice bucket, fill it with water, and run down there and put out the fire and tell everyone "its ok, I'm a volunteer firefighter". I watched from the room and wow was it funny. Henry was also an idiot and walked towards Marc and Meatball. Then security threatened to kick him out the hotel. Didn't help he was still wearing his GenCon badge so they knew his name. Between White castle, the fruit salad jokes, trying to get fireworks, Duke, asshat, Henry bringing two pairs of clothes and not showering, the pack game, chick-fil-a and monopoly. Always a good time. Can't wait till next year.

Current Mood: pleasedpleased
Current Music: Creep - Radiohead

Aug. 3rd, 2010

12:39 pm - Catching back up

So I got back from Ireland a couple weeks ago. It was really cool. We were with Sceptre Tours and we went to Limerick, Killarny, and Dublin. Our tour guide's name was Tony. He was pretty cool. Our tour was pretty cool. I kissed the ballarny stone, walked through a poison garden, tried out different beers, went to a night club called the Crypt, shot some pool, ate at a castle, tried meade, and saw some awesome scenery.

Tonight I'm going to the Green Day/AFI concert with Brian and Tim. Should be really cool. Look forward to seeing AFI again. Its the last thing we're doing before Tim goes off to buffalo for grad school.

Been doing a lot of reminiscing lately. Went back into some of my old journals. Even googled myself and found myself on accounts I dont remember making. Even found out someone made a fake account of me on a black dating site hahaha. My bio was: I like nipples the size of pepperoni slices. and ball point pens make me horny. lolol.

anyway... I even looked back at some of my old school notebooks. Their not even old. I'm talking notebooks from college. But its soo long ago! Just remembering some of the material and random sketches and doodles. I remember some of the things going on at that time. Good and bad. Time goes by way too quickly. No wonder I'm such a pack rat. I like holding on to these memories but its impossible to keep everything. But thats what all these pieces of paper are...memories. Now if I could only hold on to the people I enjoyed these times with that would be fantastic.

Current Mood: nostalgicnostalgic

Jul. 14th, 2010

03:18 am - Vegas

So Vegas was a lot of fun. was crazy expensive though. I played in two poker tournaments. one at the louxor and another at mandalay bay. both got kinda screwed over in. flopped a pair and flush draw with a gutshot straight with 6-5 suited. turn a piece of the straight and go all in and miss the draw. other tournament i raised with Q-Q and got called by K-9? made a bad play on the turn cause that woman was really lucky. Tried getting into The LAX night club at the louxor. Wasn't happening. ridiculously long line. It felt like Night At The Roxbury. Unless I had a vagina and big boobs or had about 5 girls with me, I wasn't getting in. The next day me and my sister did penny slots to get drinks and went to Dick's(some bar) for 2 for 1 beers. Did dollar jello shots and 5 dollar shots at random shops. my boss was in vegas also at the time and texted me to go to the plazzo. Took a taxi and went to the high limit pit to watch Dean play black jack. He won about 9,000 dollars and then we went back to his suite at ceasars. he had about 6 bathrooms. We went to a strip club called badda bings. I kissed a stripper after Dean gave me 100 dollars. oh jesus. oh the drunkeness. Took it easy on sunday the fourth of july. Went back to jersey the day after. Now I'm going to Ireland tomorrow. should be a lot of fun. Promised Arthur I would bring back a bottle of Meade for him. Stay up all night and sleep on the plane ride? Possibility. Till next time.

Current Mood: pleasedpleased
Current Music: I Feel You - Depeche Mode

Jul. 1st, 2010

01:03 pm - It's No Good

Jun. 15th, 2010

11:22 pm - The Pennant and Top Dog

Soo a couple weeks ago me, bscott, devin, and zack went to the Pennant for White Trash Wednesday. Doing our normal get our drink on thing. We tried dancing with women and that was a failure. When i say we tried, i mean, me, devin, and zack tried. Bscott stood there. Then the funniest thing happened. A girl approaches him and says that she was complied to give him her number. The jokes have been nonstop since. We walked to zack's and slept there that night. It was a hell of a walk too.

Last thursday, I met up with devin, zack, and john at Top Dog in cherry hill. They kept making fun of me because i was wearing a purple striped shirt so they kept calling me Steve from Blues Clues. I called John Eddie Munster. Even the bartender was making fun of me! gahhhhhh. terrible. Anyway we saw that they had this "$8 bucket of whoop ass". We were curious so we ordered it. We attempted to buy another round of drinks with the order and the bartender was like "oh, you won't need another round." ok, sure. we drink our gigantic buckets and then tom my boss walks in. We order another round of "buckets of whoop ass". This is when crazy shit happens. Devin gets up on his chair, takes off his pants, and dances around. We decide its time to hit the road and go to Connie Mac's in cinnaminson.
There we start doing shots of Crown. We also met up with Trevor who used to be one of our bartender's. Haven't seen him in a long ass time. We get even more trashed. Devin tells me that there's a buffet of women outside. We go outside and do nothing at all. By the end of the night, Devin blacks out and busts up his nose somewhere that we don't know or remember, zack throws up in the bathroom sink, and i pass out in the front of Connie Mac's. I saw Trevor leave in a cab. He asked me how I was doing and if i needed a cab. I passed on the thought which I shouldn't have because I went back inside and everyone was gone. I was left behind at Connie Mac's. I text everybody. The only one to reply back was Tom with a message that said "Sorry Cnut w rxgon". Well fuck. My sister picks me up at 4 in the morning. It was one crazy night. It felt like I experienced "The Hangover".

Thats the news so far. I registered for a couple classes in the fall. Sucks the classes I need aren't being offered till spring. I might take a 3rd class just to boost my gpa. Have to get my car inspected and get an oil change sometime this month. Thats it for now.

Current Mood: crazycrazy
Current Music: On a Friday - Blaqk Audio

May. 25th, 2010

11:07 pm - interview

so last night i slept over BI's apartment. we watched spirited away. woke up this morning after 11 and we picked up bmason and then took me home. had an interview at vector because of alderene for this job selling knives. they gave me the job but i'm still unsure how its going to go. still wanted to at least try it out. didn't realize the interview took an hour and a half for the whole presentation. was supposed to be in work at 4. oh jesse rossati was at the interview? work was ok. Still need to register for classes. the end.

Current Music: Rush - Depeche Mode

May. 24th, 2010

09:52 pm - Grand Prix

So just a little update. Once again I need to catch up with this journal >.<. I managed to hand in all my graphic design projects and i got a C+. so i passed and i can go back to BCC. Going to register for the fall hopefully tomorrow. My car's transmission died last week of finals. sucked ass. Just got it back today. The new transmission costed me 1400. My bank account is basically wiped out.

I went to grand prix washington dc with dick burns and ed gamble. Stayed in a suite. Played blue/white control. 1930 players. 10 rounds. First played against naya allies and almost lost due to terrible misplays by myself in game three. second round played against red splashing bloodbraid and smashed him. Round three i play against chris woltereck of starcitygames.com and got incredibly nervous because a bunch of people were watching our game. Had a fun play of into the roil with kicker my own o-ring to destroy his elspeth but i got owned anyway .2-1. next round played against naya and smashed him. 3-1. Was feeling pretty good about this. Tillllll I played against naya again and lost so I dropped. 3-2 drop.

Other things I have doen were going to the phillies game last monday with bscott, tim ryan, and jon H. Met up with zack from work and angela from school. dollar dog night son.
also went to the club with bryan, jarrett, julia reed, erica, alecia, and somebody. Did a body shot off the bartender upstairs. that was fun. it was actually someone I graduated with from cherokee. Rest of the night was just a lot of drunken dancing. Then diner afterwards. Then nick's to play tichu with dick burns and ed gamble and bryan.

Current Music: bulletproof - la ruox

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